The Referral Date

You've either been fixed up on a blind date, met by a service of some kind, or you really thought in some way going on a date with a co-worker or friend was a good idea for your future. Any which way you slice it- not connecting. There's something missing from this date; maybe a spark or two, a disconnect on interests, one of you is right/left wing or no wing but the wrong wing, and you want to leave but should you? Do you find yourself texting under the table or excusing yourself to go to the restroom to send an SOS that your friend needs to save you from this date and call soon? I know I've left a date or two quite early in the evening and should have probably left a couple more of them than I did. However, while being wined and dined does it dawn on you that while this date isn't a match made in heaven for you; your date would really be a match for your single friend? Do you offer it up or go along with the date? Letting someone down is hard to do but what if you could lessen the blow by letting the person know you think he/she has some great qualities inside but your friend might be better suited for him/her? That my friend; is the referral date. A date you go on but then refer a friend. I don't know if there's a refer a friend bonus program or a trial period where you try out the basic model and if you like it you can upgrade to the friend, but why miss out on an opportunity if you aren't attached or motivated to be? Out at a gathering of friends; someone brought along a few newbies to the group. It turned out the women were all single and looking. Where the looking took place seemed to be the most important factor since the pickings were slim to none at least when looking for a real future and not one that lasts less than 24hours. I began searching the Rolodex in my head of possible people that would be a match for these women when one of the girls said she didn't want anyone I had a relationship with. I assured her that I was thinking of the men that I met but weren't for me but somehow we stayed in touch. How great it would be to make two people happy by introducing them? One woman's reaction was less than enthused and another was open. By now we all know not everyone is going to hit it off or even have lasting common ground so if you can in good faith refer a friend for all of the right reasons wouldn't that be better than knowing it but leaving it a secret? I know it sounds like someone is passing around the Thanksgiving turkey and the good pieces seem to be gone by the time it gets to you. So, what if the plate could cross the table instead of going round and round; your chances of finding the right one just opened up sooner than waiting for the plate to come to you...right?

What’s your view of referral dates if in the position to recommend?

©2009 Savannah Jones