Okay, I'll admit it...I like a nice, simple, clean look. It says fresh and appeals to my need for simplicity. I also don't like a lot of unnecessary add ons or long waiting periods. Certainly, I like a bargain but don't wish to jeopardize quality for it. I'm talking about what I learned about dating while taste testing cookies. Ready to bake chocolate chip cookies are a staple in my home just as equal to bread, milk and eggs. My recent visit to the grocery store was to be short and swift until I stopped to pick up the cookies. I came across Pillsbury's Simply cookie. The package was the most appealing one I've seen in a long time. Clean, simple, and fresh looking. I read that it was supposedly more healthy than the regular cookie which I realize is an oxymoron as if a cookie can be healthy. Couldn't wait to open it and try it out however, it isn't part of my diet so I left it up to the taste expert- my daughter. Some people like a more sweet cookie but we aren't that family. I was so excited about this package that I didn't even notice that I paid more for it in comparison to the others. It had to be good...right? It was in a great enticing wrapper. I did try a little morsel and agreed it was too sweet for my taste and that's when I started thinking about dating. Too sweet...a problem huh? Is this how it goes- you like the whole look, you open it up and it's sweet but that's it. It offers nothing else? There's no intense flavor or variety? I can't taste any spice or kick to it just plain old sweet. I passed by the cookies before going to bed and thought it just had to have some kind of edge to it but I tried the crunchier part and still too sweet for my taste. On the way to work the next day, I began laughing at the metaphor and relationship aspect of "nice guys". I know there's not a nice guy out there whose going to think this is funny but to me, I found it enlightening that even when it comes to the packaging of a cookie, I can be drawn in but if it's very sweet...in some ways I can be turned off. Can someone be like a cookie and be too sweet that you have to pass on it? I'm sure I've had my bad boy days and it's probably the reason I like simple, clean and fresh looking not only in cookie packaging but pertaining to men. Before you go ripping this up and getting upset if you're a nice guy...ask yourself this: Can a woman be too sweet that she's a turn off; her kindness can become a problem or overbearing to you and in some cases you have to pass just because there isn't any spice or variety?
I'm just thinking...
©2009 Savannah Jones
October 6, 2009
Love the package not fond of the inside...food/men
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
27 comments:
Savannah,
Checking in before bed and wanted to point out that I've never seen anyone eat as much peanut butter as you but also it is Simply Jif that you eat. My thoughts when I tried it, not sweet enough. Simple package, low in fat and sugar but not too sweet. When I saw it in your pantry, I liked that you are a choosy mom and someone who is also concerned about the fats and sugars you consume. I don't find that boring. I find that to be an educated consumer.
All joking aside- yes, women can be too sweet and it can become hard to deal with and hard to break up with. Over bearing is only one aspect of a woman too sweet. She also expects sweetness in return and can be naive about people. It's good to have variety but not so much that you don't know which side is showing up for the date. nice work.
Very funny in it's delivery. I'm a " nice guy" and I'm not offended or turned off. It's true and you deliver the news politely. Are you a "nice girl"? I'm nice but I agree I am turned off by the proverbial nice girl. So touche
Kudos to you for ending this like you did. I wasn't happy reading it but the question in the end gives it some perspective. I dated an overbearing woman and finally broke it off. I couldn't take all of the sugar if you know what I mean.
You've had bad boys? Why did you go for a bad boy?
If you keep up with the site, I mention how I dated nice men and good men but those were my long relationships. Bad boys...as far as what I consider a bad boy to be...I didn't date all that long. I don't consider bad boys to be mean and uncaring men. I consider bad boys to be the type that don't want to settle down, just like to have fun, know their appeal and use it to lure a woman, and I'm sure there's more. In the video clip that was listed in the previous post, bad boys were guys who didn't call and broke dates. I just call that mean or immature but not a "bad boy".
Savannah Jones
Figured you'd like the video, the truth of the matter is to much of anything is bad but the analogy you used i don't agree with so much if it's something your not used to it takes adjusting that's why people say clinginess is "bad" but clinginess in the context it is usually used is attention one is not used to. As for being overbearing well that's another story no one likes that regardless of how cordial they are to the person it eventually become overwhelming
Do you work for Pillsbury?
I'm not usually considered a nice guy by the normal standards. It's why women of all kinds like me at all different times in their life. I'm not a bad guy but I'm not a committed guy.
We'll have to agree to disagree...I can get used to something but I will build a barrier to keep from having it eat at my nerves. I too sweet man without substance or substance in an area that isn't a match for me, is just sweet. Nothing wrong with it, and don't need a checkered past for me to fall in love with the guy but some strong passionate beliefs, opinions, goals, intensity to living, and not afraid to put it out there in a firm but gentle manner is someone who also makes others feel alive and get the blood flowing. Don't need this all of the time but don't need only sweet all of the time. At some point a sweet man gets angry or dislikes something and it would be nice if the emotions could be shared and expressed.
Clingy doesn't mean you're sweet...it doesn't mean you're not but...it doesn't mean you are.
Lack of an ability to read ones signals can be an issue and some sweet men have that issue but so do some overbearing and clingy women.
Savannah Jones
Savannah Jones
Savannah,
Somewhere you talked about boundaries and want to know if boundary breaking is a turn on or not? My old girlfriend asked me why I didn't stick out my neck for her and fight to keep her. I thought I should listen to her when she broke up with me. I didn't know she wanted me to chase after her. Eventually when I didn't take any of the bait -- the emails, text, invites that casually came or hints. She gave up and stopped replying or initiating any contact. I insisted we talk and told her she asked me to stay away and I did. She said no dummy I wanted you to want me. Help me understand!
Yes a woman can be too sweet because she's not multi faceted and that's the same for nice guys. If you're one thing only it could be too much. I get the sweet cookie idea being too sweet and something you aren't going to try again. You are someone who knows what you like and are decisive but open but yes, if it's a turn off it's a turn off. Deal breaker - maybe. The point I'm trying to reach is at what stage does a woman like yourself stay with the sweet man realizing you'd be treated like a queen? I don't mean only you Savannah, I mean any woman out there. I know you won't know who you're answering and I like that even better :-)
Apparently, you're not so sure who you're writing because it wouldn't be queen it would be princess... ;)
Anyway, While I'd love being treated like royalty I also would like things in common and a person who wants to explore life and plans for that with me. I like to have something to look forward to and projects to work on. We all want it all and I do want a sweet man but I want the sweet man to have some spark and spunk to him. He doesn't have to keep me on my toes guessing how he's spending his day or with whom to give me that spark like a bad boy might, but a zest. Lemon zest adds so much to a recipe and most don't even know it's there but a picky eater will notice it and might be happy for the zip that it gives so just imagine.
Savannah Jones
This is great- lemon zest from a picky eater when you're nickname is Sally like in when Harry met Sally. I get what's being said and am in full agreement. Women take it from all sides that we pass up the good guys for the bad guys. I think in our younger years when not looking for a husband but want to understand fun and relationships we do pick a rough around the edges guy. How else are we going to appreciate the good guy. Why in our later years does the pattern repeat? Ask someone what their first kiss after their divorce was like. Ask a person who didn't cheat that is. It's exciting and thrilling after kissing the same guy for many years. You feel young and full of life. A sweet man may take days, weeks to get to that kiss. He doesn't know how to grab at a woman and take her off guard. He doesn't dare break the wall down. He also doesn't break down his own wall of opening up and talking. A bad guy has no secrets because he wants you to know his escapades. I want to know it makes me excited.
well i've said this before sometimes it boils down to experience in the same manner a female needs to experience to be a bad boy to realize what to do, asides from the fact the females have lots of different sources of information on how to act in a relationship guys don't have anything that is really useful. So the nice guys you are talking about are the shy types who just do nice things cause he believes that's how women want to be treated which is true but at the sametime women want to have earned that treatment and so all the conditioning nice guys get from their family and friends pretty much leaves them with lack of relationships or reference to know when it's time to manage something like a first kiss
Take three women - one comes in to work absolutely smiling and beautiful and doesn't really do her job well but looks great. Next woman equally as beautiful comes to work, not so smiley because she understands the real world. Does a fantastic bang up job and leaves the day knowing she did her best. Her bosses know she's great. Package with her equals what you get but it isn't the whole package because it doesn't have the perky smile. Now for the third woman - beautiful, smiles, knows her stuff and struts it well. You find out that the smile might not be real. Why do I have a thing for the third woman. She makes me excited when I talk with her. I feel her in my bones when I walk by her or see her pull up. I know the smile isn't real it should bother me but doesn't. I think the first woman is sweet but that's all, the second woman is sweet, but not always, and the third woman is sweet and knows how to work a room full of people but isn't really thinking what her body language says. Why be so turned on by her and not the others? The intrigue of getting inside that mind and that's really the answer. A sweet person's mind doesn't have a lot to be hiding or hasn't had much experience with bad in life to know the difference. Not intriguing for most men or women.
Okie dokie Savannah I'm putting it out there for you...years ago (I'm refreshing your memory) we were at a locally owned upscale bar and you were being hit on by a football player. A younger football player and you didn't know or care who he was. You were in a relationship and you were on your way to the ladies room when you were approached. You told him you were taken. You later found out who he was and just brushed it off. We said this had bad boy written all over it and it was best you head home. Your phone rang and like a good girlfriend you picked it up and let the man know you couldn't wait to hear from him. That night we laughed and laughed about what you were wearing, what it was saying and the message it was sending and that it's why you were being hit on. YOu sometimes self deprecate around us girls that it isn't your looks, smile or eyes so that we feel better but we know it is. Now men...she wasn't dressed up in any pick me up look or look of being on the prowl. It was a white t-shirt and blue jeans. We talk about this all of the time when we meet and Savannh is dressed down. I want men to tell me what draws a guy to a woman dressed so casually and not giving off any signals. OF course I am jealous and am hoping for some inside tips.
Savannah,
I also want to add-- that evening we asked you about a bad boy time. You had a glass of wine before answering but I will bet you don't remember what you said.
You said some nice guys can be so nice they won't share their dark secrets, some bad boys like dark secrets and hope to be one of ours and hope we'll actually brag about him, and good guys are the ones who lived a couple of dark secrets enough to know it isn't them and then become great men. I know it was said in jest and my answers to nice guys versus bad weren't anything like this but in time I see what you mean.
boundary breaking man = all women want to know that the man can't live without her. We want you to chase us even if we say no. Don't stalk or anything and if we say no like forever don't talk to us we might mean it. A note or email letting us know you want us back will do and then we'll decide but nothing and no communication or picking up on the hints? Yes I would drop you and be mad about it too.
just cause i feel like sharing my opinion you like the third one mainly because the same funner but in actuality they hide themselves behind a fake smile. It's the same for girls liking a "nice guy" who ends up being a jerk. As for the person asking why dressing down worked, it's simple typically women or girls dress up to get attention but if everyone dressed up it makes people feel intimidated to effect while if they dress casual it says i don't care and just want a good time.
I'll sum up everything i know from my understanding the video is fairly accurate not in presentation but in terms of what it states that's how most nice guys feel about the number ratio and how most girls act. Now there are many reasons for a guy being nice, some people just can't pull of the "confident,mysterious, challenge" for whatever reason.
My food analogy is this for nice guys they are left the crumbs usually and don't get a choice of fresh meal usually.
Girls take samplers until they find what they like so if it's cookies they'll try bitter cookies first to know what a nice sweet cookie is like
"badboys/jerks" take main course and get the most out of what their trying to order, but not every "jerk/badboy" has the same ease or luck as the next for obvious reasons.
Friend of Savannah's,
Not sure who you are but I've seen the t-shirt jeans outfit and it is worn with high heels or high heeled sandals. Either way it's the inviting look of casual and relaxed and on Savannah she is what she wants - fresh, simple, clean.
I'm very attracted to that look. I don't want pumps and lingerie either, I want soft nightshirts or soft tanks with shorts. Not a lot of makeup and not afraid to not have any on would be a nice surprise from any woman.
I never heard the football story but I have seen the whole thing out in action and it's inaction that causes the attraction. There's no threat, there's no looking like you're looking. It makes a man want to get to know you if you are casual and yourself. Just by looking at a woman like that you already feel like you know her.
If a woman can pull of a white t and jeans then she's the end all. Not many women can do this and be sexy. The white t can wash out the color in a woman or bring out their features. I'm not sure what the attraction is but the dress is casual and if in an upscale bar it says confidence, beat to her own drummer, and not caught up in trends. That's being comfortable in your own skin.
The call is what I'm focusing on. As a man, I'd like to hear that my girlfriend was thinking of me and wanting my call when I call her. I don't get that response when I call. This woman answering her phone like this in a crowded bar, says to me she knows how to make a man feel good and wanted and also to make him not worry about her out with friends. She knew by then she was hit on by a football player and I'm assuming a famous one if people knew him. What an ego boost for the boyfriend to be number one when he called her in that setting. Lucky man!
Above:
Never thought of it like that...about the call that is. The guy isn't my boyfriend anymore - just an FYI.
Savannah Jones
Are you on the radio? I heard a plug on Sirius and want to know how to find you at night. I drive long hours and it would be great to listen to this on the radio.
I had a woman I was in love with and wanted to marry but we broke up because I wasn't able to come through. Everyday I'd tell her she's too nice for me. When I was engaged to my now wife I found myself needing to explain this to my old girlfriend. I sent a letter about the faults of my now wife. I sent this to make my old girlfriend understand that even though I was marrying I was marrying someone who wasn't considered so sweet and faithful. I don't know why it mattered to me but I needed someone who seemed more real by her faults then the sweet woman who was divorced because of the faults of the ex. Time even validated that fact. I run into my old girlfriend from time to time and she still has that look of being a good woman and I know when she's looking at me she sees why I did her a favor. It's not that a woman can be too sweet or nice it's that some people feel inferior around it.
Would a sweet guy cheat on a woman? Would a good guy cheat? Would a bad boy cheat?
Girls Girls Girls, it's the whole casual idea plain and simple talk. I've seen Savannah get hit on more while dressed down that at any other time and it works for me too. I take the bait and try and go out with the men while she smiles and moves on to what she was doing. Men I know you agree with me but I am not sure that transfers over to the bedroom. I question the men that like the soft cotton t's to bed. What happened to the silky lingerie?
Are you saying you fell into the trap of not wanting something that didn't have some spice of life to it? If you are going to marry a best friend how do you kick it up lets say. I've seen my girlfriend sexy with other men and spontaneous but not with me and she calls me the "sweetest" of all of the men. Am I boring and steady I wonder or do I not know how to move that friendship into our relationship and still be wild?
Not offended because of the truth talk. You caught yourself wanting more than just sweet. I'm sure you want a sweet nice man and a man that will stick around but you want him to have some impulsive safe moves too. I like when I'm taken by surprise and I like women to be a little bitchy. At least you know they are real.
Post a Comment