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Savannah Jones
September 30, 2009
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My now fiance told me if I asked her to marry me things would change. I promised some of my ideas might change to. We got engaged and she can't keep her hands off of me and really rose to the occasion of acting like a wife to me and a mom to my kids. It was more than I could imagine. My expectations have risen with the engagement and I'm pleased with the situation but I wanted a woman who would do this without a ring. It would mean more.
Open for business - I like this idea.
My issue is with women who have old boyfriends hanging around as friends. Anyone want to comment?
don't understand relationships need help.
I've been dating a man for almost three months. He won't commit to me. He says it's not about anyone else but doesn't say what it IS about. Should I break up with him or stay with him awhile to find out? Three months is enough time to know if you want to commit to someone.
I spent many evenings and some lunches getting to know a woman. We met through mutual friends and she's a lovely lady. I wouldn't say this came out of nowhere but I thought it was going well when she told me that she couldn't see me anymore or at least not be seriously involved with me. We hadn't gotten seriously involved but I felt we were close and close to the next step. Her kisses made me believe this. When I asked our mutual friends why this sudden change, my attention was directed to reality. The reality is this woman told me she couldn't promise me a relationship or a committed one. She told me she wasn't sure dating was in the cards for her at this time. These were her words but then why have friends fix me up with her? Why did she go? She said she'd go but did say she wasn't sure this is what she wanted to do right now. What else can someone want to do who is alone? I know she's not lonely and I don't think ever will be. She keeps herself filled with activities and hobbies for one, but two could get involved. I've done some google searches and your site is the best I can come up with to get the question out there. Does this happen to other men? If so, what did you do?
Confused
A man left me for another woman who he only knew a short time before me. Now he's broken up with her and wants me back. He swears he'll be faithful and she's a thing of the past. He says it with such anger that I think he broke up with her out of being mad and once it's smoothed over he'll go back to her again and I was the rebound. Can both of us be the rebound?
Hey man who wrote in second here. I want to know why men think it's okay to have old girlfriends hanging around as friends? Anyone like possibly the guy that wrote that want to answer?
Savannah,
Maybe this is too personal but I'm askin anyway. Would you put up with a man having an affair if you knew it wasn't going to amount to much? My friends think I'm crazy but I know my boyfriend cheated on me but it didn't seem like a big deal. I won't dump him and it didn't hurt our relationship. I would like to marry him soon but we're not engaged. He says it's something he wants too and my friends tell me no way to marriage to him. I know many people who stay married to cheating husbands and wives so why do I need to break up and not marry this man?
Third person,
When I read the comments and questions I know I keep in mind that I'm only getting some of the story and one side. What I notice missing here is your ability to see that you are wanting something that the man you want it with isn't giving to you. I realize you have an idea of what is the right amount of time and this man's lack of an answer isn't falling into that timeframe. I don't know if his lack of response is really a no or if it's a matter of needing more time. Being able to communicate with one another is very important in a relationship so getting that part moving would be helpful and hopefully will reveal the reasons for hesitations. The reasons might not be as bad as you're imagining.
Savannah Jones
person two:
Why?
Savannah Jones
Number Four:
It sounds like you accepted a date knowing the chances/circumstances and had hopes that once you met it would be different. Does this happen to others? All of the time. A positive spin is maybe that you met someone you connected with and the take away is you should focus on the positive traits and look for those again if it seemed to be working with you. I equally believe in timing and sometimes going with it. It sounds like this one is about timing. As far as what could someone be needing to do that would cause her to not date? My guess is she shared it somewhere on her previous dates. It also sounds like she accepted the date but made sure you knew the limitations and you accepted, not just her accepting. I think that's important to remember.
Savannah Jones
In order for both of you to be a rebound...someone would have been before you and you were right after. Then if the other woman came into the picture right after you then she might be a rebound too. Not everyone that shows up after a relationship ends is a rebound. It has to do with the feelings involved and the process which someone goes through getting over the previous relationship ending.
Savannah Jones
Personal question person:
It doesn't matter what I'd put up with or even what your friends would put up with, what matters is what you feel. Infidelity isn't right, but some couples are able to get through it. This is a decision that has to feel right for you. I can tell you this from experience, maybe this affair didn't amount to much, seemed insignificant, and didn't interfere with your day to day relationship routine but that doesn't mean that another one won't. It's about character and remorse.
Savannah Jones
Not sure who sent me this link and I am posting it but I was asked to give my opinion...
Most of the people that write in to this site have been married before. Therefore, we probably fall into the dated not nice men and then thought we were marrying one. I wouldn't say everything that was presented in the video is so. I like the video but not into the presentation due to language and lack of details because of that. Here's my take and this is a more "open" one than I usually give:
I don't think bad guys are "as-h----" I think they are men that have both a bad and good side. I also think these men have what it takes to go after life without inhibitions and seize moments and opportunities often because they have a dog eat dog world approach. I like that in a guy because I like a guy who loves life and wants to fully participate but when turned into jumping on opportunities with other women, not having a filter when talking, I feel differently. The types of men represented in the video must be in their early years. Yes, plenty in their later years still do this but even more have a different way of being a bad boy. Some use power and sense of entitlement and some of those traits in the beginning are intoxicating. Women do think this behavior will change as a man ages...in some it does, but I don't have statistics for the whole gender. As far as the women that will continue to date a bad boy...some are women who don't intend to settle down with the guy. They know this and want to have some fun too. I do believe a nice guys time will come and loved your ending in the video because of how that was presented. Nice guys don't take the bull by the horns usually and women don't want to be mommy to a man. They want a man who'll take care of them and be strong and unafraid to stand up for them.
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6BF8DPtQNw
Savannah Jones
Helping my ex girlfriend get her life on track and wonder how it will effect her dating life when she chooses to date. Not my problem really but I know when she has a can do man in her life, because she isn't interested in me and when she is she's hit a fork in the road. My ex girlfriend is a go-getter and needs a go-getting man. She has energy for projects and is so talented and smart in many areas. Until she met me, some men were intimidated by this and I was someone who relished in it and help promote it. I asked her if she surrounds herself with men who see this in her and her face said it all. I've been accused of being egotistical by these other men in her life, but I'm the only one who recognized her talent and wasn't afraid of her but loved her more because of it. I can run circles with intelligence around these other men causing me to wonder how egotistical and/or insecure these men are. Not really a question but wonder what your thoughts on this are?
Last night I made a drunk call to my old girlfriend asking her to come back to me. Not met with a lot of enthusiasm but she answered knowing it was me. What was the point in that?
Savannah,
Very interesting comment. There's the ability to have a conversation that's "intoxicating" and filled with passion instead of the usual "oh really" or even just a listener. I wouldn't talk as much as I do on dates if the guy would jump in and take control. Many many guys jump in and it may seem rude but it helps me fall in love.
My friend wants her old boyfriend back and I know the woman that is dating him now. What do I tell her? Do I tell her that he's with someone now or do I tell her that she should go for it? I don't care for the guy much but I feel my friend belongs with him and I hear he was at his best when he dated her too. His kids liked her the best and I feel torn. She cries about this and thinks she made a mistake breaking up with him. I don't think he wanted to break up with her it was a stressful situation and then their relationship was over. I don't tell the woman he's with now that I know him or who he used to date. I didn't want to get involved at first but what if these two really belong together instead of who he's with now?
How Can I help
This is open meaning we can write in about anything? I want to know how to deal with a man who opened up about his life and feelings about almost everything. I wasn't expecting it but I opened up about my passion to help children and need to be of service to our future through kids and he started to open up about his failures and regrets. I don't think he's done this with anyone else. It made me fall in love and I almost was breaking up with him. I don't want to hear the negative all of the time but he'd been through stuff that doesn't happen to a lot of people and he said he felt comfortable really talking about it. I am so into him now and even though I knew what happened I didn't really hear him talk about what he really thought about it all. He said he didn't know anyone who would understand and had to get it off his chest and knew I wouldn't judge or walk away and judge later. If I share my side of things in life or how I view it if it was me, do you think he'd feel better about it? I want to make this work now that I know deep down inside there's a real person who thinks real thoughts.
Savannah,
You sent me a link to this women and sex site but didn't post it on here and I want to know what other men think about it.
Link-- http://www.lemondrop.com/2009/09/24/how-why-women-have-sex-changes/?icid=main|htmlws-main|dl3|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.lemondrop.com%2F2009%2F09%2F24%2Fhow-why-women-have-sex-changes%2F#
Savannah,
I wrote in asking how to help...,
Maybe before you answer I should tell you a key piece. The woman the man is dating sees another man from her past. The man my friend dated and this woman dates travels and even if he isn't out of town, she still sees and sleeps with the guy from her past. She says she can't and won't give up the ex boyfriend who she'd like to patch things up with . I think it's why I want to tell my friend to go for it with this guy even though I know he's dating this other woman. This other woman doesn't act like she cares what happens. My friend never would and never did cheat on him or anyone. I don't know that he deserves that kind of woman but my friend deserves to have what she wants to make her happy.
Hey trying to help woman I hope I can help you.
I've lived this one before. My friend never told me that she knew who my ex was dating. I was pissed by this. I wanted to get back together with him and she should have told me. Instead I let him know that I wanted him and he kept it a secret about the other woman. I groveled, I promised I'd be really involved this time, I said all of the right things and he took me back, but never told me about this other relationship. He seemed devoted to me but later I found out about the girl and he said he didn't see the reason to tell me when it was over but it wasn't over, it was only over after he took me back and even then he was still in contact with her. later when our relationship wasn't at it's best, he blamed me for why he broke up with the other woman instead of blaming himself. I had no idea about her. I wasted months with him because of his need to not let me go while keeping her. He's married now and not to either of us. She and I became friends when I wanted to tell her that I didn't know about her and she apologized to me because she became part of the triangle while he was dating me. Tell your friend and who cares if the other woman has another guy? That's her problem and his but it doesn't have to be your friends problem too. If you keep it secret your friend might want to actually talk to the guy and get involved with someone who is part of a messy relationship.
Savannah,
Do you believe you dated men that weren't nice before you married or are you saying that some people do and then marry a nice guy? I liked the youtube clip but yeah language vulgar for my taste and not really deep. I liked the end too. I like the guy who did the interviewing. He seemed cool.
Taking issue:
Savannah Savannah, you don't or won't talk about SEX on your site but sent a friend an address to read about women and sex? I went to the article and found it most curious. What about this article struck you that you sent it on to a friend? Was this a male or female friend? I had a difficult time reading that a woman will sleep with me to get out of something. This is why problems don't get resolved. I had a beautiful sexy woman in my life who enjoyed passionate sex and once in awhile liked it down and dirty. We had and still have an attraction to one another but never did I feel she used sex for any of the reasons listed, except she had a couple of glasses of wine, there was music and she wanted to be with me or just have sex. This woman is a great kisser and her kisses can make a man melt. That she knows and that she uses to avoid making dinner or leaving the house for dinner but I don't think that's a bad idea :-)
Football widow here on your site. Is there any place on here that covers what to do when your boyfriend watches football, every game, everytime, and even the recap? My boyfriend likes to cheer on his college team too and sometimes goes to the games away from where we live. I don't mind him being into sports but what kind of relationship am I supposed to have if his relationship is with the tv and friends who are into the tv and having him away at games? I found myself hooking up with old friends and old boyfriends who keep me occupied and found my self interested in a man because of this. What should I do and how can I get him to stop watching so much sports? Don't you think if I tell him about the weekend, he'll stop getting so involved in sports that he'll pay attention to me?
Football Widow
I came home from a party this weekend and found my boyfriend on the phone with someone but he lied about who it was. He named a friend who was at the party and still there when I left. He smelled like he'd been drinking and later I found a receipt in his car for dinner for two. He said it was another male friend. I don't believe any of this. I can't think of any woman he would be with and I didn't think we had problems in our relationship. I didn't accuse him of anything or tell him I know he's lying. We started talking about fixing up our vacation house and he came close to saying we won't be spending time there. I feel like he was about to end it but didn't want to end it right then. I feel like I'm losing my mind and going crazy making this up and in the end it's going to be my accusations and lack of trust that ends this.
Savannah,
I live in a community where everyone knows everyone. I told my friend about the man I used to date and voila, she knows his old girlfriend before me. I asked for all of the details and it sounds like he dated both of us at the same time. I thought I was exclusive with him. I want to let him know what I know. He was always acting like I was doing things behind his back and I thought he was paranoid. Could it be he was doing this to me because he knew what he was doing? I also want to tell the other woman about it because maybe she knew I was with him while she was and I was the only one left out. I wouldn't care about this but he was so rightous about everything and if he did this I want to call him on it.
I dated a woman and made a mistake of making a big deal out of her saying another man's name while in an intimate time. She left me and we both moved on in life. I never have or think I will find a woman like this again. She is the one for me and I want to be with her. She lost respect for me over some of this and how I dealt with it but then gained respect for how I dealt with the break up and the request to stay away. We see each other and have traveled together. Our kids are friends but an age gap exists. There's a small age gap between this woman and I. I am semi-retired and she'd like to be. I don't know if I can get her back for good and would like any advice to help me get back into a relationship with her that I hope will lead to marriage.
Trying to address all in one:
Woman wanting to help friend - In the past I told my friends not to talk to me about ex boyfriends and their whereabouts and whom they might be dating. In some ways that was good and bad. I had a friend who knew of a situation and if she had told me, I would have made a different choice. You live and learn. Now, my friends know to tell me should I become part of something unknowingly. I would tell...and it isn't a concern who is seeing whom; this is your friend and I'd assume she wouldn't like it later to find out you knew and didn't tell.
Next - I dated nice men before I married. The men had good hearts and good intentions. I think when you're young in your twenties it's hard to tell character sometimes if you haven't had to deal with bad character in the previous years. You have to taste the bitter to appreciate the sweet.
Opening up - When a person opens up and really shares him or herself with others it's a great moment. I think it's great he could talk with you. I'd keep working at it, you might have discovred something and sometimes it takes people awhile to open up.
Kiss and Tell- No good ever comes from what you're talking about. If you are all broken up and not interested in getting back together what is the point? It doesn't matter who the man dated and when; what does matter is he did. Trying to get the upper hand by revealing what you know isn't having the upper hand at all. In the past I've kept these details to myself or let on without giving names. I don't feel I have to give creedance to something I know to be true when I've benn bulldozed. All that matters is you know and yes, people sometimes make false accusations because they themselves are guilty of it but not everyone does this. If the guy you were with was doing this, is he really worth the time anyway?
Person who thinks she's going crazy - Look up signs and symptoms of an affair online and go through the questions and answers that might be on a site. You'll have a better understanding of the feeling crazy idea. It's one of the symptoms the unknowing partner begins to feel. I'm not saying it's happening but obviously something has your radar up so pay attention.
Football widow - I have dated men who were really into sports and traveled either to their college games or their favorite teams games in another state as well. I liked that time to myself. I didn't look at it as the men should be with me, I looked at it as a time to do somethings I don't usually do. I treated myself to massage and movie nights, spent time with friends, evenings with my kids that were special, and caught up on reading and hobbies. I also liked the phone calls while the men were away because they were happy calls and I liked the return home. It's the old saying if you can't beat them then join them or in this case find your own things to do. Men will appreciate that just as much.
Wanting to get back together man - Time heals is one thing I'm thinking here but also that in some cases you have to work at building the love and trust. If you've vacationed and mixed the kids even while not dating then there must be something worth exploring. I'd keep trying to connect and make more and more ways of connecting happen.
Savannah Jones
Your answers are good and to the point but the signs and symptoms of an affair are when the men have the affair and the woman is suffering. Women cause men other types of crazyiness symptoms. I know that wasn't the question but I wanted to put it out there.
Savannah,
what do you think is a nice man with good intentions?
Football widow,
Savannah has a great idea of finding yourself during the football season and then present yourself to the guy when the season is over. He'll have no idea what hit him. You'll only be that much more appealing.
I was dating a woman that I shouldn't have let go during football season. I went to my college for an alumni game and came home to my past girl telling me something I didn't want to hear about my kids friends and something going on around at the school. I didn't want to deal with it. She was already dealing with it with my kids while I was away. My kids wouldn't own up to any of it and I was mad that this woman would upset me when I was so tired. I got mad and wouldn't get close to her for days and nights. We broke up and she was right to leave. She told me I was an ass when I come home, I'm an ass to her and my kids because of entitlement. I still go and travel to the alumni games. I'm careful about my mood and the woman I date now knows the story from the past. She waits days and days to tell me these warnings and bad stories that makes a dad's skin crawl.
A nice man with good intentions is how I described men I met before I married. I guess that's what you're referring to?
These were sweet and caring men. I don't think any one of them ever cheated on me. My needs and wants were always taken into consideration and of course we were young. I really believe that in our early twenties we are starting out and things are moving at all times but handling adversity isn't usually part of the package at that age and we all know adversity starts to rear it's head when we hit the work place and families age and children become part of our lives. It's easy to be nice when you have time on your hands and little problems to deal with. As we age we have more difficulties in our life and we also meet people who have their fair share to deal with too. Our wants and needs change and grow. It takes a different type of person to make it through those times then just a nice sweet man. Good intentions are great if they pan out and become more than an intention.
Savannah Jones
I agree with this concept of not knowing what bad character traits to look for before you marry in your young twenties. My parents didn't take the time to teach me these traits because they didn't exist in my time out in the open. These weren't topics of discussion at the dinner table or in school like it is now. Our kids learn about bullies now and drug issues. Our kids are learning how to work their way around problems we never had. We all know the stories that our parents told us of hardships but we didn't have it growing up but now our kids do. We have more kids growing up in divorced homes and living with parents with addictions and dealing with abuse. We know how to spot those problems and we didn't know it before. Research and science has taught us the profiles of such goings on and now we know. If I had to do it again, I'd be smarter about it and know what signs to look for. I think I'm too smart for my own good because no one will do and before many would have fit.
Savannah,
you are really ignoring the sex article question. I like the article and link. I think it's true that women use sex to get out of things. I'd like to date the woman that the man described who has passionate kisses and it's enough to make you forget dinner. I don't need my problems fixed right away if I can kiss a woman like that.
my ex husband moved away because of a relationship that ended with a woman. Our kids are grown and it didn't effect the kids. He moved back because of this woman too. She was needing someone to help her get over some tough times and he helped her and her kids through this. He wants to date her but doesn't. I am no longer with my old boyfriend and want to know why my ex doesn't feel like he could care about me the way he does her? I don't want to remarry him and I'd like to see him marry this woman because she makes him happier than I ever did, but why can't he treat me like this when we share kids and a past? He moved away because he didn't like seeing her with a man, then moved back and that other man wasn't in her life. My ex didn't know she needed him but finally one of her friends located me and I contacted him and told him he needed to come home. He was on the phone with her and then on the next plane and he sent for his things within that month. He's been home for almost a year and doesn't come close to treating me this kind.
I have an interesting question, why is it that a female acts fun and exciting when they are dating "badboy" and then become bland and boring when they are dating a "not-so-bad-boy" is it the dependency on the "bad boy" for their good time and the initial attraction that causes the excitement or is it the fact said girl has forced interest in the not-so-bad-boy" or she herself is incapable of having a fun time unless someone else is causing the friction?
I have one of many answers for this one: This isn't about a bad boy bringing it out in a girl but it is about the type of places and scenarios a girl may find herself depending on what type of guy she's with. A man without limits or limitations can place a shy woman in situations that can unleash something inside or allows her to be this way as there's more than one dimension to a person. I know I'm more reserved around a "nice guy" because the places he chooses to go are more reserved and quiet then set up to unleash some fun side. I also have been with very nice men who I can have an uninhibited time with at their own home or mine because again, somehow they were better at finding a way of making a woman feel comfortable enough to do so. I think women are comfortable taking the lead at times but if a nice guy isn't giving off the vibes that it's okay to be more wild or that he'll participate, it's probably not going to happen.
I have other opinions on this as well but this is one that I myself have experienced.
Savannah Jones
Got the answer i'd figure you would say where it is situation and lack of inhibition, but what if say that nice guy kept trying to do something wild or adventurous and the woman would simply reply she's to scared to and the guy wouldn't go through with it and then said woman blames the guy for being boring. An example would be something ranging from sneaking onto a private beach at night or something that isn't the couples casual outing.
Okay, breaking the law such as going on a private beach isn't always the best idea and if that's your way of showing you have a little bad boy in you...so be it. Let's try some reverse psychology here...If this is someone you've been dating awhile; why not mention that you're bored and want some spice in your life and to do things that you don't always do? Sometimes having it brought out in reverse can help make the other person think it over. Doing things spontaneously if it hasn't been your M.O. can seem a little off and still make a woman uncomfortable. If this woman keeps telling you she's bored...have her plan a night or two and promise you won't back out.
Savannah Jones
Nice guys can be boring in bed and maybe that's what she means. My friend has this problem with a man she's with now. Her old boyfriend was passionate and wild in bed. He was also very loving but sexual at all times with her. The nice guy she's with doesn't know how to go about this. He waits for her to decide. We, her friends, hope she gets back with the other guy. she smiled more and worried less about her problems. I think nice guys make you think about your problems more and bad boys let you forget the problems.
Actually that was discussed in the nice guy thread about the whole "fun time guy" as it was called there and isn't really relevant to my question. How one is in bed is a coupling of experience and if their are boundaries or not, lot of females set out boundaries on preferences willingly after an ex as they don't want to be reminded of him etc.
i see guess the whole sneaking onto a private beach seemed a bit out of the ordinary but the point was to illustrate that said nice guy is capable of doing things for fun and regardless of what it is be it suggested by the female or suggested by the guy she claims the guy is boring when she is the one not allowing the fun to happen since she's content with just staying home with him watching a movie, but a person that clubs alot or barhops manages to get her to do something she would never do with the nice guy she was dating, and not from lack of effort in trying...hopefully now the question makes little more sense.
Above,
I can't answer for all men and all women...I do think there's a chemistry thing involved and I think this is a question best explained by the woman in question. If you are saying that she won't go to something with you but will go with the other man to the same thing...you need to ask her. In my own life, if I really took the time to compare two very nice men, I can say that one has more inspiring conversations than maybe the other person and when something is suggested by one man - I'm more inclined to go. I don't date either man but I will say that both men are great and nice but both are different in their personality or should I say the way they go about things. Sometimes there's a subtle differene that makes it change. I wish I could tell you specifically why this is happening to you but honestly your best bet if you have such specific examples to point out; is to bring it out to the woman.
Wish I could be of more help...it's an age old question. You could have identical twins but both will bring about a different reaction or give off a different chemistry.
Savannah Jones
Here's a question Savannah,
Hypothetically speaking, a man you dated decides he can't live without you so he buys a ring and proposes marriage. Would you need to date him again to renew the love and sparks or would showing up with the ring and proposal in hand make it happen for you?
I am thinking of trying this and all of the women I've asked - say no don't do it!
Savannah,
Tell the nice guy bad boy person about your thoughts on Vince Vaughn and maybe that will make a difference that is easily understood.
Okay,
Recently saw Vince Vaughn in Couples Retreat but like to see him in all movies because of his speech pattern and way of delivering lines. His timing to me and the rhythm with which he speaks, makes me laugh and be right on board with whatever he's saying. Someone else saying these things without the whole rhythm, tone and mood to it would change it all. I don't find Vince Vaughn to be the most attractive man but I don't care because his sense of timing and humor are attractive enough. Other women can't stand this in a man or when watching this actor; it's why there's other fish in the sea.
Savannah Jones
ALOT of nice guys know how to have fun and do it without being planned or feeling strange about it. But I've asked myself this question alot because I get the great gal after she's been with bad boys but I think about me with nice girls. I don't try and take advantage of anyone but a woman whose been with a bad boy I step over the line more. A nice woman who only dates nice guys, I take it slow. I also find them a little boring too but I have an appreciation that can't be matched by a bad girl. I would agree with time and place for bad boys and girls and nice boys and girls.
well that bites my net timed out
ok i'll make this shorter version first off the twin thing there are case studies alot of it has to do with social upbringing and if the twins grew up together instinctively they try to differ on social scale, aka why one becomes a jock and one becomes a bookworm.
Secondly i will use the movie wedding crashers as an example as vince vaughn did a decent job in there his humor and tone of voice was part of movies substance but owen wilsons was equally important in the humor of the movie both very different deliveries and styles achieved the same result...not really the best example granted i know what you meant by it. If the tone, physical and personality qualities aren't there it slackens the potrayal it's why you should never act like someone your not or one of the many reasons
Let me rephrase it and give a more believable scenario instead of the running off into a private beach.
"nice guy" dating girl A for lack of abetter name and they typically stay in and don't do anything on the weekends except watch movies on the couch and cuddle. Now "nice guy" gets the idea and wants to do something cliches and romantic and take girl A to the beach and asks because the 2 hr drive is not economically sound and maybe she may or may not have a better idea...she flatly refuses his attempt to walk her down the beach in the sunset and instead prefers the movie and snuggling....guy attempts again and again and one time just drives her there to be "spontaneous" and all he gets is reprove or possible she breaks up with him for not listening when all he tried to do was change up the routine.
Now scenario 2 'bad boy' with girl A typically sits around all day drinking and occasional berating the girl and she's somewhat enthralled and grotesqued by this approaches her with the same question and she can't wait to get out of the house (mainly because she's felt a prisoner and unwanted)
why is it the girl said yes to the "bad boy" no to the "nice guy" and hinder any and all attempts when he really wanted to go?
Whoever wrote this long explanation is probably a really nice guy and is hurt by watching a woman not choose him and sounds like the guy who has wrote in before about this. I'm a woman and not all women are like this and everyone is different. I have triplets and my friend has twins and the studies don't replicate the real truth. My triplets and her twins are part of twin studies and life doesn't fall the way you read. I don't really care about that with this but I'm wondering why not move on to a nice girl and maybe you'll see it isn't always the bad boy or the nice guys at play. It might be the woman. We go through this too where we don't understand why the bitchy women get the guy and we don't.
This open forum is turning into nice guy v. bad boy did ever dawn on anyone writing in that maybe the nice guy is attracted to not nice women who will break their heart for the bad boy who will end up breaking the woman's heart?
Well percentage wise the case studies show that overall twins that live together tend to deviate from eachother after a certain age and those that grow up in seperate homes tend to be more similar, i'm not denying your statement at all by the way I'm just saying Typically.
As for the whole i'm a nice guy well i guess i am but it's not the reason i'm asking, it's just simple answer to a question that i never get the answer to. I can answer the bitchy woman nice girl thing. From experienc bitchy girls tend to be more physically appealing and more outgoing, not every "nice guy" wants to stay locked in doors or in there shell. This is not something a "nice girl" can simply undo. Then there is also the fact that not every "nice girl" is attractive and are like the "nice guys" and compensating for their looks by being a nice person. Lastly from my personal experience "nice girls" are so passive aggressive they can become stalkerish.
Anyways as i said i asked the question mainly for debate reasons i'm better known as kaiowolffy or kaioshenron.
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