A Charming personality can make a lot of superficial connections. Are you a person who just connects easily? Maybe you are one of those people who makes instant friends and maybe you are just a personable person? Is it possible that you learned to overcome shyness by stepping out of your comfort zone and learned to be outgoing and outward with others because it was economically a wise decision? Do you know when someone is falling in love with your smile and you don't want them to but you are just connecting and are satisfied with that outcome? Oh what to do when you find out you are talking with someone and you are a smiley kind of person and the person across from you is falling in love or reading that smile as a love connection. A couple of people have told me that it seems that those in their presence are getting the wrong vibes and it seems to stem from their smiley personality. Do we live in a world where the norm is to not be friendly that when someone takes a little time out or shows an interest in one's life, it's flirting and showing an interest? So I was asked what should a woman do when a guy asks her out based on this friendly meeting that was really just two people having lunch together? I asked a man that I spend a lot of time with and smile all of the time to because he is so helpful to me at all times. He was shaking his head not enjoying the pressure of having to find an answer...he told me that if I wasn't twenty years older, he'd question my smiley interactions with him and he knows I'm not the cougar type but he said that he had the advantage of watching me around others and saw I was the same with everyone regardless of gender. However, he did say that when asking a woman if you can call her is accepted with a smile it makes a man think she's into him. He does look for the smiles and the eyes lighting up. Can we be fooled by charming personalities? Are those the bad guys that nice guys are losing out to? Can a woman be a seducer of sorts with her smile but really is a tease and you're left wondering what went wrong? I'm asking these questions because of course I look for smiling people, I like charming personalities, but I also know women who have had to let down some very nice men who aren't aware that in some cases a smile is just a smile.
What do you all think about this? Do you fall for it...have you read it all wrong and what did you do after that awkward awakening?
August 11, 2009
" You never know when someone is falling in love with your smile" Quote
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11 comments:
Savannah,
If you had a dime for every comment about your smile and bright eyes you'd be very very rich today. It's hard being turned down politely when you misread a woman's smile. Good advice from the man that you asked. If you can, watch the woman deal with other people. Look at the waitress, hostess, valet man, if she's smiling at all of them...then this is who she is a smiley loveable person. I want to be with someone who is smiling and whose eyes light up and I like a sparkling personality. Eventually, the woman needs to break down those barriers and show me herself even if it's with a smile but not a superficial side or I lose interest. Some guys like a happy go lucky woman 100% of the time. I'd prefer real.
Keep smiling
Yes this is me you're talking about. I had to let a man down and it was crushing. He got the wrong impression and said no one has ever talked to him and looked so interested in what he had to say and that made him think I liked him and wanted a date. I also was told never to touch someone's arm because they'll get the wrong idea.
moments of smiles are nice and charming personalities hook me everytime. I am the nice guy that loses out to the bad guy who is charming. A kind woman told me that I don't smile very much and I look to seriously that I need to lighten up and more women will be into me. What do you think? My friends tell me I think too much and wear it on my face. I probably do but isn't that who I am and shouldn't that be enough?
I fall for the smile everytime and it this was information needed. I do think a smile means the woman is interested and now I'll think twice about it.
I work with a woman who is the nicest person I have met. She is professional but always smiling even during bad times. Yesterday a man said he felt she was interested and today he was going to ask her out. We stopped him and explained that it's just her personality. I don't smile often but I've been told that's good too because people know when you are happy and when you're not.
This is off topic but hope it will be one. I just want a fling with an older woman I work with. I think she'd do it too but I don't know how to approach it. There's an attraction and it's unbelievably strong. I'm 15 years younger and I don't know how to go about this. She was minding her own business today and I came by to say hi and her eyes and face lit up like a Christmas tree. She's a smart lady and when I asked her why she was still single she shook her head and said it was meant to be that way for now. I asked her if she was dating and she looked sorrowful for the first time. She said she couldn't right now because she has kids but I want to date her or at least have a fun fling. It looks like that's all she can have anyway. How do I approach this, what do you suggest? I work in a place where people will talk but I think even the people I work with would be happy to see her go out and have this fling. I am too young to be anything else to her.
Can you be anymore clear about how bad it can make a smiley person feel to find out someone took it for a come on and then has to let them down? I hate this. I'm not even the most attractive person but I still get this because I'm happy and smiley like you put it out there and it's like a come on to a man. What is with that?
Does this mean a man shouldn't trust a beautiful smile?
I say go for it man...ask her out for coffee or tea like at a Starbucks or something and if she says yes, then she's interested. Ask her what she's looking for in a relationship. I did this with a woman once and it worked. I didn't want a whole affair just a fling. I had this burning attraction and that's what I wanted to solve. She was much older than me but I knew if I asked her to do something and she agreed, then she was thinking the same thing I was. I asked her what she wanted at the time and she told me she had to take care of kids and work and didn't have time for someone who wanted all of her time. I asked her if she ever thought of just get slightly involved and she had. It happened just like that. Think about it and go for it.
Having a hard time thinking about this one. I agree with the comment above me that if you ask her to meet for a coffee and she agrees then you can see where the conversation leads. Who am I to say what someone else who isn't in a relationship is free to do? However, the question is a good one but for me, I'd have to get in great shape to consider being with someone 15 years younger than me. I know this isn't about a long term relationship so if it's what you both want and it's understood by both parties, then why not I guess.
Savannah Jones
I have a crush on an older woman at work and I'm 13 years younger than she is. I didn't think it was as big of an age gap as it is. I didn't know she had teenagers either. I met her and I could tell she was attracted. I kept going by her to talk to her and she was receptive. I asked her to stay after work to talk over a drink and she was expecting it. She told me that she had a feeling I was interested so she told me her kids ages and she thought that would solve it. I just figured she started young and unwed. Not the case and she told me her age. I was still interested since it's just a number. She said she couldn't bring herself around to this way of thinking. I know she's interested and finds me attractive. She's since moved to a new department I think to avoid me.
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