Themes in life...

Have you ever been somewhere when it hits you that there's a theme running through your life? A summer of rebuilding, renewing, relaxing, reuniting, rewinding, redoing. My life was in transition, the furniture style I have been leaning toward is transitional, at work we're talking about the transition of out with the old and in with the new. I have been out of a relationship for many many months and thinking that eventually I will transition into the dating scene when the time is right and stable. Working with so many in the behavioral field these days there's been much talk about how many don't take the time to be in the limbo transition phase so a stable foundation can be acquired and tested. It's been said that many times it's just acquired and on people go before the home life and all is stable for a lengthy period of time. Then, they wonder why life is chaotic because they jumped too soon. So what about transitions in relationships? How do we decide when it's time to work toward a change? Change doesn't necessarily need to be a bad thing. Many don't like change but this isn't about sudden change it's that step in between that is the transition. An active choice you make for change and in some cases you mature into this transition. I read an article about how a woman should never move in with her boyfriend until she's engaged with a date set. That's the only thing that should be a transition. If you move in, the article eluded that it's just geography and not a transition in the relationship. What do you all think about that? What about transitions of wondering when you should stay or go. How do you know what to do when you're married and you think you want a divorce? How do you lessen the change? If you're in a relationship that's a struggle, where do you go from there? Do you think if I try and get out, I might be missing out on the best that's yet to come? Or, you feel it's going to be the same old same old so figure out how to leave in the same old way? There's some who transition from one person to the next with a blending period of a week or two. Someone once told me that he was hesitant to date me for two reasons- One, I gave no indication I was interested so how would he transition a friendship into a relationship. Two- because my past indicated future performance (you know that quote) and that I had gotten back with my ex boyfriend more than once so I would probably continue to do this. I wondered, did he realize that I write on this site and there's plenty about relationships that eventually come to an end and stay there? I used my divorce as a past behavior example as well...it was over and done with no returns. This man returned a couple of times to the same person and I thought should I take note of that, is that what he's trying to tell me? Then, I had another man tell me there was a time he was hoping I'd go out with him because my dedication to working it out and persistence in trying to always step it up each time I had returned to that very relationship was impressive and a quality he most admired. It was also mentioned that the steady removal of my kids and myself showed an understanding of a transition phase in relationships. It seems when a couple of men had talked about their marriage/divorce situations with me there seemed to be this lack of wanting to work things out on the part of the women so my returning to try again appeared admirable. I'll leave out what I thought of my own return for now. Times of transition are hard when you have to leave something behind and move onto something better or for that matter even something unknown. I always hear the song "To Sir With Love" and think of transitions of growing up and growing out of relationships. I have a particular person in mind when I hear it. No I didn't have a romance with any teacher of mine back in the day, well...I take that back I did have one with a TA but he was close to my age and not like the song at all but I digress. I look around me with all of the transitions and look forward to the fall and the possibilities of good that lie ahead. However, I'm not really in relationship transition at this time but hope you can share your stories for those that are. I'd be happy to help with my thoughts on it.