What makes you decide to take a break from dating? There was a time when I promised myself I'd go out at least once with someone I was fixed up with, found online, or was straight out asked directly. I drove myself into a tailspin. I did this so I could get on with my life, get over a relationship, get back into the dating world, and get a man that was right for me in my life. Sounded like a good plan but in reality it didn't fit me. I had to take a break and of course that's when I met someone I wanted to date. Life has that special ironic twist to it and I went with it. However, some really do decide to take a break from dating anyone. Maybe life is stressful, maybe they need to find themselves, it could be that a broken heart needs time to heal, etc.
So what makes you take a break from dating and what do you do with that time?
August 19, 2009
Question...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
13 comments:
Okay, this is a little different and I wondered if there's a reason this was chosen as the post for today? My parents tell me it's time to leave the guy I'm with and take a break from dating and focus on my kids. Because of my kids, I need a life since I need an outlet. I don't have hobbies and I don't have a job that requires much after work type work. Dating this man gives me a way to get out and take the stress off. I do have problems with my kids when this happens but I need adult time. Was there some reason this was chosen?
This post was written after speaking with a couple of people who are afraid to stop dating either a person that isn't right for them or a person that causes them to feel so anxious that medication is necessary. Both don't know what to do because they can't imagine being on their own for awhile while they figure out what they really need. My own observations have brought me to the old conclusion that the more you look for it the less you'll find it or trust it. You can't find it by hiding in your home, and you need to be open to it when you're out, but some people are spinning their wheels and need to take a break to reevaluate what needs they have and is their situation the same as it was in the past. As we age our needs change and if divorced or widowed we don't go at this like we did in our twenties, we have kids and that does change the story quite a bit. I do believe that kids should be a priority. I understand needing adult time but I've also found ways around that. I'm not out partying it up and wasn't really doing that in the past either. My friends come by the house, sit outside with me, hang out with me and my kids and partake in whatever it is we're doing. Maybe you could find a way to incorporate your friendships into your life like that. Just an idea.
Savannah Jones
I care very much for a woman who is taking a break from dating equally I've taken a break to be there with her when she's ready. I don't feel I am missing out on anything.
I'm watching Larry King and it's on education and health care. Kids are at the forefront and that's why I took a dating break. My kids are in their early teens and one preteen. I learned the hard way what a divorced family can do to a teenager. Even though we spend a lot of time with our kids or think we do, when a man or woman takes up alot of our time, the kids suffer. You can't date a man or woman two times a week and if you take time to see them more often you are really cheating the kids. I didn't want to wait until all my kids are in college but it's almost looking like that's what I'll need to do. Dating is really hard to do with kids who need a parent around and not off dating like a teenager when your kids should be doing that instead.
Missing my old girlfriend caused me to take a break from dating. I wanted to wait for her to come to her senses.
Above:
How'd that work out for you?
Savannah Jones
I took a break and changed careers, went back to school and found a man I am going to marry.
My break was two years but in the third year the business was going great and I got my diploma and then I found the guy.
I don't think I've ever taken a break. I have no reason to want to be alone but everyone tells me I need to take a year off and then I'll find someone in the following year.
I took three years and stopped dating during all of it. I really only thought I'd stop dating for one year but I changed jobs and changed how my house looked, and gave myself a whole new make over by working out. I filled what would have been my dating time with me time and I became a strong beautiful woman who now runs her own business from home and can be there with my kids.
I took a year off that turned into more than that and is still going. I don't even miss it. I have reconnected with friends and have more time for my kids. You don't realize it but kids get pushed aside when you date and now we have so much fun together that my kids don't complain about not seeing their friends so much.
A year was the most I could do and I did it because I would pick the wrong women for me every time. I was counseled by my friends that I needed to learn to be alone. I tried it but I didn't learn much.
How do you get through making the decision to take a break from someone you love? My boyfriend and I broke up but we said we both had things we had to do and then we'll see. I still want to see him but I also want to not be a part of anyone's life who wants something from me.
I'm a man and I don't like being alone so no going there.
Post a Comment