What if there were no labels?

What if there wasn't a label attached to your relationship, would it go more smoothly? When there's no label attached to a relationship, is the pressure off or is there more concern and doubt? This labeling idea would even include the "friends with benefits" term. Expectations change as a couple tries to define what it is they have together and when expectations are included they are no longer met as a welcome surprise but a must do or else check off list. If you don't want to be with anyone other than who you're with, do you need to define it, describe it, make it seem more valid by giving it a name or is that something others place on us? I was thinking back to a time when someone once asked me to explain what I was with a man and as soon as the question was asked, the stakes seemed somehow raised. I was enjoying myself without a description, we were enjoying each other's company but now the pressure of what are we "really" sunk in and I no longer was into this. Would the relationship have gained momentum without the pressure or fizzle out like it did once I had to really look at this as a meaningful lifetime walk around and claim one another thing? Thinking back to times that remained as memorable in friends minds, it seemed the first time someone was introduced as more than just their name made a big impression. I remember one man telling me he never felt so loved as when a woman he was dating introduced him as her boyfriend at a party. He felt like he really was a couple with her more at that moment than any other time prior. He said it did change some things like spending the night together at each other's places, considering themselves as one most of the time as a partnership. It upped the ante sort of speak. He said that when she wanted more out of the relationship as live ins and then marriage, he ended the relationship. He didn't want to be anything more with her or anyone else. He went on to add that later the relationship turned into friends with benefits and that was all he was capable of giving to her. I love you's were exchanged during those moments and I wondered did both understand what was meant by those words at the time and were both expressing them for the same reasons. Sometimes people love someone because of a past they shared or moments shared at the time but not as a wife/husband in the future. Labels seem to make others feel more comfortable when dealing with couples. I know people who can handle a mistress as long as that's the label given for the situation in the open and no guessing is required. Do labels dictate the rules or do people have enough values and morals to adhere to what they feel is right within the framework without a discussion?

Do you constantly feel you need to define what you are with someone or can you fly by the seat of your pants? Do you need the reassurance of a label to guide your moral compass and keep the flow going as a guide to when to call it quits? Labels - what's your take on it?

©2009 Savannah Jones