This meantime has stirred up some people wanting to know how the meantime relationship isn't rebounding and how is it really different? One person maybe more wrote in that they understood this meantime and having sex in the meantime isn't rebounding and others didn't quite get that.
In the meantime you might enter into a semi - relationship but have made it clear that you are in the meantime and don't know what you want or don't want to deal with what you want yet so this is where you are. Someone enters into this no matter how lightly they tread, he/she becomes part of this meantime. This is not a rebound or make you the rebound if you accepted. Rebounding is having a relationship with a person after you ended a different relationship while still missing,wanting, and loving that other person who is gone but are replacing it with this new relationship when not quite over the other. You're in it completely and actually saying you want to be. You are in fact together and there's no maybe about it. I guess I can go into semantics and I'm big on word choice so... having sex with someone new shortly after a break up that you're not over and moving that into a somewhat dating situation - consider it a rebound in most cases unless it was discussed as mentioned in the beginning. In other words, people who are really in the meantime and want to be usually announce it and it goes something like this, " I'm trying to just be, I'm trying to get things done and figure out what I want. I don't mind being with you and want to be but this is where I am now in the meantime. " People on the rebound don't say, "Hey, I'm rebounding and hope the other guy/girl realizes he/she can't live without me." Or, "Hey, I'm rebounding and you are the in between person while I wait for the right person for me to come around." In fact, most people don't announce at all that he/she is rebounding. Some don't even know when it's happening. However, if you ask for information about past relationships and you are finding out a relationship just ended and he/she's just getting out in the dating world, that's a pretty good indication you might be the rebound depending on how you fair in the checklist of current necessities. Otherwise, you might be the friend with benefits. If you think you're the rebound...my guess is you probably are. I don't know that for sure but gut instincts are usually good. I have no idea of the statistics of rebound relationships working out... I haven't looked into that part very much.
©2009 Savannah Jones
I hope this has been helpful and feel free to add to this or your own experiences.
March 25, 2009
The meantime and rebounding
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6 comments:
I like the meantime idea because when people say things like they don't want you to be the rebound girl so they can't date you , these guys are really saying I don't like you and won't change my mind rebound or not. You're nice and that's a point against you right now is what's really being said. The meantime is like I'm here and if you're here and know I don't know where this path with lead join in.
I want my friend to have sex in his meantime but he doesn't want to hurt his old girlfriend. What's up with that? I'm the one who wants him so I don't get it. I don't want a whole relationship with him I just got out of a two year love that ended badly. I just want to feel wanted and attractive again.
I want to have a meantime but I can't be alone. I have never been able to be alone because it's an ego thing. I have to feel there's someone out there who wants me. I rebound all of the time and many take part in my rebounds. I'd like a meantime and don't know how to get it.
I don't get involved in meantime relationship women. I get involved with women who are rebounding. Savannah is right and there's a difference. I get involved in rebounds because I don't want to be remarried and don't mind long term. These can last or not and usually someone wakes up out of the rebound and leaves. A meantime can go on and be a part of even a new relationship. You mainly are friends and maybe you have sex and maybe you don't. It isn't what defines the relationship. Rebounding, sex is a component guaranteed. I don't mind being the friend but won't have sex with a woman in her meantime. Savannah, Do you think men have meantimes after a rebound relationship has ended since I have those I think I have meantimes too. What do you think that means?
rebounder
I met the love of my life while we both were in a meantime. We weren't supposed to fall in love, we were supposed to date and keep each other company. I called her on my way home from dropping off another woman and asked her out over the phone. Her number was given to me by a friend. We lasted a few years and had a couple of pauses where our relationship was put on hold but together. I think you can meet and fall in love during a meantime if you're open to it but I also keep in mind this woman was a gift in my life.
Rebounder,
Finally an honest man!
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