Who do you love...Who do you need...When you come undone?

There's that moment when you come undone, unglued, unsomething... Who do you need as Duran Duran asked? Example, let's say you had a negative turning point which changes you. You become turned off, tuned out, self focused, driven for a cause, but in all instances this has a negative impact on being the regular you. Most people do try and place themselves in others shoes and that helps lessen the pain and create a we're in it together approach. This week I was told by two people near and dear to me that they could pinpoint the moment that the last straw came and I was about to come undone. I'm not talking a roundabout month given, I'm talking giving me the exact date that it happened. Both people had two different agendas for bringing this up. One was very understanding and the other understandably sad. I know these people care deeply for me and my children. In their hearts I know they were enraged on somewhat the same level that I was 8 months ago. But looking back was it too bad for me and my family or too bad for them that the chance to have me in their life like they were used to had changed? Life throws many curve balls and sometimes dodging them gets harder and harder to do. Eventually, you get hit and have to deal. I think the answer to who is it too bad for is a telling one. Yes, it's usually both but the instant reaction and the reflection months later is as intriguing as the fact that who you love and who you need at that time may not end up being the same name. Something to consider is the name that does fit the bill isn't always the name of the person who wants to fit the bill. I thought eight months back and remembered how people handled this situation differently. There were those who were angry and took to writing letters and making calls to anyone who might be able to help the situation. There were those who put their arms around me saying oh it will be okay because it just has to be. I appreciated that but I don't do well with the whole feel sorry, wish me well thing. Then, there were those who rolled up their sleeves and said let's get this turned around and devise a plan. If the sleeves were rolled up, those were the people I gravitated towards. I don't discredit any individual who has a soft side of love and kindness with a sweet demeanor but I need that sweet person to roll up their sleeves while I roll up mine. I'm one of the lucky ones, I still very much enjoy the company of the well meaning friends who have a date I'd like to forget etched in their memory. Good for me that I forgot that date and let it go, not so good that I'm reminded by others. But, it is what it is. ( I know that response will make some smile reminiscently) Someone asked me months ago...now that life is changing what kind of person will you need? What kind of person will you love? My typical answer- Someone who can ride out the changes through life because even if you hit all of the slow pitch balls coming straight at you, life will throw many fast curve balls.

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