Filled With Possibilities, Hope, and Wonder...

Goodbyes, Dead Ends, New Beginnings, Possible Small Detours, and Very Little Looking Back...just some thoughts on saying goodbye to 2008 and hello 2009. Around 8:00pm on New Year's Eve my mind started down a path of weird ramblings in my head. Does a guy on death row who gets cut a break feel he has a second chance and do it differently or does he not know any better and ends up back in the same place? Does a woman getting divorced think this is a good thing or a bad thing...spend her life being bitter or looking at it like a do over? Do my children realize their friends want to be at my house every New Year's Eve just to hang out and through thick and thin we still have each other? Does my sweet puppy feel we are the best thing that happened to him in 2008 like we feel about him? Seriously, these were my thoughts as my kids, their friends and I were playing with our dog while watching the top 40 of 2008. I watched as many did, the couples, friends, and families that rang in the new year with hope and optimism feeling like it's a chance to start anew. I received a phone call from a friend that night that was filled with much warmth, understanding, and a dose of fresh raw reality. She spoke her mind about her life and those in it. She ruminated about friends that she has let go due to their lack of ability to empathize due to their own unresolved issues either with her or themselves. We talked about how it's okay to look back and talk about things that were good and not so good as long as you start to feel removed from the not so good and move toward what you want. A new lease on life was the theme and giving yourself the opportunity to have a life. For me there were times when what was going to be in that life was hard to imagine, conceive of, create, make happen, and live it. Roadblocks, detours, unpaved roads that were bumpy to travel, and meandering paths that looked like our city's new exit ramps filled with roundabouts and dead ends seemed to make 2008 a challenge at best. Now here comes 2009...another chance at making it all come together. It's interesting to me how many people believe in positive thinking and hope but not many know how to keep it going, moving along, create movement to get it how they want it, or to have the most patience when feeling the most frustrated and discouraged. I'm not saying I have the answers but take stock in what's good, what you have at the end of the day and make yourself deal with what isn't right and that's a start. Yesterday I found myself happily multi tasking to feed my eclectic personality. I ordered more courses from the Teaching Company on religion and human behavior, watched a kids movie "Sydney White" with the great lesson of be yourself and be true to yourself, with the hum of my oldies and some classical music in the background playing. Feeling more peaceful than I have in a long time, I allowed myself a look back and knew I left 2008 still standing, a little bruised although no worse for wear, a survivor of sorts, but with the best yet to come. And, the good news is like all of the rest of the people on New Year's Eve who believe each year is a chance to get it right, if it doesn't happen all of the way in 2009, there's always 2010.

The following quote has been rewritten with different words added along the way. I ran across this one today. Happy New Year!

"Life is not meant to be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive, well preserved body. Instead live life to the fullest... slide in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other screaming "WOOOHOOO what a ride!!"