Opening Closure Again...

My past closure post has gotten some new interest lately and some of the searches that led to it were:
Why did my girlfriend leave me?
How can I find out why it didn't work?
Is it worth asking why she left?
If I'm the rebound guy, how will I know it's over?
I hate to sound like it's so simple but if a person is really wanting to know why someone left, shouldn't they start with asking the one that left? Sure it's easy to surmise why someone might have left without really talking about it but what if you're wrong? I know I know, it doesn't change anything...right? Wrong! Maybe it can't change the way the one who left feels but, I think when you have an understanding of what happened it can only help you the next time you're in or looking for a relationship and/or help you work on the one you lost. No good comes from not telling the truth about why you decided to leave. The truth will come out at one point or another and if it's not such a glowing reflection of yourself, well...you actually would be better served by spilling the beans yourself before someone else does. At least then the person being left can at least know that you cared enough about them to speak the truth to them even if it hurts or makes you look somehow less desirable. There really isn't a good way to say goodbye and many try to make a perfect exit but someone usually ends up hurt or blindsided and there are no perfect endings. But, what if you don't get an opportunity to get an answer or you find out later that what was supposed to suffice as the answer was a lie using trickery. For example some men have told me that if there might be another woman waiting, the man might say it has nothing to do with anyone else but that the two of you aren't right for one another or whatever the excuse may be for your own relationship. Really a man should own up to the whole other woman idea because women figure it out and it is more upsetting that they know you lied and again, it doesn't make a man appear to be anyone worth crying over. There isn't closure in the right way but there's an end with less respect involved. One guy asked me what do you say if you don't like the woman's ex- husband and it's clear she can't change this part of her life? My suggestion to that was to talk about what was bothering him about the ex and see if there was a way to deal with those frustrations. It's possible you can't but the guy said he'd rather just say it's me and not you line and move on or even just not say anything but disappear. I guess I'm the only one who runs into people again and again because disappearing isn't as easy as one thinks. I've changed grocery stores, post offices, where I work out, and even which mall I frequent in order to get peace and not run into certain people but it never fails that I will run into someone who knows so and so who told them that... I've known people to accept a story even though they knew it was a lie, but just wanted out so bad from this relationship with this said liar that it just works no matter what form closure comes.

Do you need closure and aren't getting it? How do you handle that and what have you done about trying to get closure with someone you were in a relationship with? Have you ever wormed your way around the truth about why the relationship ended and then were caught?

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