June 20, 2008

Are You The Rebound Guy/Girl

You show an interest in a woman and ask her out on a date...
Now you're on the date and find out that she's broken up with her boyfriend about two months ago and her friends thought it would be a great idea if she joined a dating service, you know just to get her out and moving on. Are you the next prospect for Rebound Man? Do you get to wear a cape with that like you're a super hero? Rebound men can be like super heroes because they seem to save the day and make it all better but not good enough...right? You find yourself thinking about this woman and wanting to make up for the hurt the other man caused. You see only the good in this woman and you're at her beckon call making sure you're in and he's out. You tell me what happens next...

You show an interest in a man and he asks you out on a date...
You're on the date and learn that he ended a relationship about two months ago but has been dating ever since, just not anyone like you or as long as he plans on dating you. You want to know everything there is to know about why it ended and how it ended. You want to know if they still have contact. You find yourself reassuring this guy that you aren't anything like the woman he broke up with. Of course you aren't, because she was the one real love and you are Rebound Girl, a play thing to take his mind off of the real issue. He's still emailing and calling the one love he left behind, but she doesn't take the bait so easily. You are a stand in for time, companionship, and sex. You tell me what happens next...

I'm sure I must have been a rebound girl at one time or another in my life and I know I've had a rebound guy. He was a great man and a lot of fun which kept my mind distracted. I was honest about my intentions and where I saw it going, which was just to have some fun and unwind. When rebound man became a little more needy, wanting more, and frankly not as much fun...it was time to leave because he started to remind me of why I looked for a rebound guy in the first place. Two weeks after rebound man was gone I met a man and entered into a long term relationship that eventually ended. Forcing myself to move on and not look back; I started dating. On my way to the date, I thought, this poor guy doesn't stand a chance and I hadn't even met him yet. Once I was told by a man that he wished he met me a year later after he adjusted to being divorced, slept with nameless non-caring women, and had a couple of guy nights. He told me I'm the girl you marry not date or confuse with a rebound chick. Either way you slice it, it seems this exists in the dating world.

Share your stories and tell me what you think or have experienced with being on the rebound. Also tell us what happens next in the stories above.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh my god you so get this on both sides. This is so funny because I know men who say this is how the date plays out with all of the questions. I know how the date plays out on the other side because I'm a woman and when you tell your broken hearted story to a man they want to care for you and make up for all of the bad things the other man did to you. If you were cheated on this rebound guy does everything to show you he's a steady faithful man. It's so sad because it really doesn't matter at that time. He could be the greatest thing in the world to happen to you and you won't even notice.

Anonymous said...

I don't know how you think it should play out but I'm going to give you the way I'd like to see this play out if I were Rebound Man. I was rebound man to the same woman 2 times before now. The first time we met at a party and hit it off because we both just got out of long term relationships and wanted to leave the party to sulk. Instead we went to a quiet place to have tea and coffee. We went on a few dates when I wanted more and she returned to the other guy. Part 2- Man and her break up she didn't want to but really didn't have much of a choice with what was being said and done so a friend tells me she's free. I say not interested and then run into her out of nowhere. We spent about an hour together laughing and she told me thanks for not making her feel bad about going back for nothing. We dated and started to really connect and get intimate. I told her I love her and she was getting to that when...guy came back and knew he wanted her. I let her go...big mistake I thought, but if this guy has said and done what he did in the past, I knew she would be free again only it would be a really hurt person that returned to me. So...it was after three times and a blow to the heart and mind. We talked about marriage and living arrangements. We were in agreement and she had quite and appreciation for me. I think she still does because what transpired between the two of them was hard to take and trust again. She learned the meaning of steadfast and true through me and what it means to be there for someone without expecting or even wanting anything in return. She's in that in between place right now and I'm not going away anytime soon. I want her to know what it means to not waiver in one's feelings just because we can't handle the heat or circumstances. I think a rebound guy might win it all and can if the love is true and it's not a game to them. This is real to me and I want to take care of this woman. I know in return without me having to ask she'll take care of me. Hang in there Rebound Men

Anonymous said...

I was on the rebound and the first guy I dated I dated because he was in love with another woman. I'm married to that man.

Anonymous said...

Savannah,
How could you give away the secret that the first guy after a break up doesn't stand a chance? Now a guy is going to ask where he stands and have you dated since you broke it off. I feel sorry for the guy that gets me right after a break up because, they really are just for the fun of it and to make me feel better about myself and the break up. It's to build my self-esteem so I can go off and date the real guy for me.

Georgia said...

In either case there's someone with a broken heart getting screwed. In the man's case it's literally and in the woman's case it's figuratively. I wonder how many of these people go back to the previous bf/gf? Does anyone know this?

Georgia on my mind

Anonymous said...

I was rebound girl and I listend because I wanted to know. I learned all about the woman before me and this man had money, looks, nice house and car. He really thought that was going to keep her. I saw it as my job to be the one who played the game and enjoyed all of the benefits of being the fun girl to get it all. I said I wanted to get married even though I didn't want to one day. I said I didn't want kids even though I would like to one day. I gave the guy the fun he was looking for and he showered me with time and money and more. Women need to learn from me. If you want to be the rebound girl you could get ahead from it. The guy will go back to the other woman too but who cares.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure I'm the rebound guy even though this beautiful woman tells me I'm not. I don't really care because I like her and if I get hurt then I get hurt but what makes "the guy" who doesn't have her have any less hurt than the rebound guy so it's fine with me.

Anonymous said...

Rebound girl here wanting to know if I'm the rebound girl or he's over her? I want to get her side of the story but don't know what to do. I've fallen for the man's lines if the lines are true than it's a great deal for me. I'm also giving up on the idea to have children because of him. He's much older. My parents aren't too happy about any of this but they go along with it. If I get her side of the story and she says it's really over than even if he still cares about her, he can't have her and will only have me. Should I call her?

Anonymous said...

Yeap, this is true and sucks... If you decide to do so, be the rebound guy!! just get ready to deal with a wall. She's all for you now and will try to fade away all her pain.. with no intention in to recognize what you are doing. Will take time!! This explain why it took me so long to see that my rebound girl was the one woman i wanted and could'nt see on time. Im a rebound for the one i date right now, i can see myself on her.. seriously i dont like what i see. Either wait for her to wake up or just pack up my things and move. My advise, be ready when the time comes. Enjoy ur time and dont weaste it. Be alert. She wont jump on you, you will fall on her. same happens on the other end, we do not notice!! it happen.

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